PART 10
That was when I realized something.
I remembered the birth as an event.
Allison remembered it as something that had happened to her body.
I remembered the clock.
She remembered pain.
I remembered the moment Mateo cried.
She remembered being terrified that he might not.
I remembered cutting the cord.
She remembered the surgeon saying they needed to move quickly.
For the first time, I understood that we had been in the same room but lived through completely different experiences.
I sat down.
“Allison…”
She shook her head.
“Don’t.”
“I didn’t realize.”
“I know.”
“I can do better.”
She looked down at Mateo.
“You always say that after I get angry.”
“I mean it this time.”
She didn’t answer.
I stared at my hands.
“Do you hate me?”
She closed her eyes for a moment.
“No.”
That should have made me feel better.
It didn’t.
“I wish I did,” she whispered.
My throat tightened.
She looked at me.
“But I don’t.”
Mateo began to fuss.
Allison immediately adjusted him.
She winced.
I noticed.
For the first time, I noticed.
“You’re hurting.”
She gave a small, bitter smile.
“Yes.”
“Do you need your medicine?”
“Yes.”
I stood up.
“I’ll get it.”
She didn’t stop me.
I grabbed my keys.
The pharmacy was closed.
I stood outside the dark glass doors at 12:31 in the morning, staring at the hours posted on the window.
Closed.
I called the number.
An automated message told me the nearest twenty-four-hour pharmacy was eleven miles away.
I drove there.
On the way, I kept thinking about the prescription.
The one thing she had asked me to do.
The one thing I had turned into an argument.
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